Just My Pointless Ramblings

  I want a toy, I want that play station, I want that cycle, I want more friends, I want to come first in class, I want the teacher to praise me, I want to party hard, I want that new smart phone, I want to get drunk, I want to get drunk and high, I want good marks, I want to be smart, I want to go to that college, I want to go to a big city, I want to live in a big city, I want to have a girlfriend/boyfriend, I want to come first in college, I want more followers on social media, I want abs, I want to look beautiful, I want to be successful, I want power, I want money, I want fame, I want to be perfect, I want a nice job, I want a high paying career, I want to live a fashionable lifestyle, I want a big house, I want a big car, I want to vacation abroad, I want to dine at the finest of places, I want to experience the best of life, I want to let go of everything, I want to find my soulmate, I want to get married,...

I am a coward, I am afraid, I am risk-averse, I am afraid of life, of living, I am afraid of uncertainty, I am afraid, That I will fall, That I will fail, That it will all be for naught, That all my efforts will be in vain, That people will laugh, That no one will support me, That my own family will frown on me, That despite all my hard work, Despite all my sweat and tears, It will all amount to nothing. I am afraid, That there is no set plan, Go with the flow, doesn’t soothe my ears, Live in the moment, doesn’t calm my fears, What if it all ends up horribly wrong, Well, that just sounds like my anxiety talking… I am a coward, Because I was too scared to rebel, To rebel for my dream, To fight for it, To walk on the path, For it is filled with uncertainty, I don’t know if I will reach the end, I don’t know if I will be rewarded for my efforts, I was too busy conforming to the norms of the society, So, I took the safer option, I listened to what my well-wishers told me, “For every succes...

I am impatient, I am not ready to wait, I want to take the plunge now, And think of the consequences later, My heart screams, My brain tries to reason, And I am caught in between the civil war that wages inside of me, Breaking me down, Causing me drown into confusion, I want it now, I crave for it now, Rationality has left the table, I fail to remember, That failing to plan is planning to fail, That success comes with rationality, Taking the plunge, Might not always help you grow wings, Going with your gut, Might land you in the gutter too, But at this moment, I don’t think of it, I am Impatient, It might cause me regret, Is it worth it? I don’t know, It is said, Good things take time. But it is also said, Don’t wait for time. It will never be right. It is said, Good things come to those who wait. But it is also said, Don’t wait for an opportunity. Create it. Great! Now I am confused and impatient, Oh, I so badly want ...